Categories: Love Stories

Why Having Sex Too Soon In A New Relationship Damages The Long Term Relationship.

Relationship these days are getting all tensed up to just s*x, some people say it depends what you are looking for in the long run and i quite agree with that but there’s more… Let’s face it, most relationship crashes easily when the primary goal is to have SEX but i’d like you to read below some of the symptoms you’ll get if you fall into the Too Soon Sex Relations.


Why having sex too soon in a relationship can ruin long term relationship:

  • The relationship becomes problematic
  • It destroys the promises he/she has towards you from the on set i.e honesty, awareness, maturity and real commitment
  • For the girls you become one of the used girls he can boast about when he’s with his “GUYS”
  • For the Guys you become the topic of the day whenever she’s with her “GIRLFRIENDS” and the topic is about “SEX” She’ll probably boast you’re so good in bed or you’re a weak ass fella.
  • He won’t take you serious as he used to when he hasn’t eaten the cookie

Someone once said [pullquote position=””] Having sex too soon is problematic to the building of a healthy relationship because it’s difficult to establish a union of the heart (which is at the root of all good intimate relationships) when you’re leading with your groins.[/pullquote]

So if you really want to avoid the too soon sex and don’t over keep and it sends the man/woman away, an expert in Relationship and also an author of No More Drama: 9 Simple Steps to Transforming a Breakdown into a Breakthrough Sil Lai Abrams wrote something very educative and very informed.

She wrote…It’s natural to feel doubt or uncertainty when in a new relationship, but one of the ways you can minimize your fear is to make sure that the two of you have the 3 C’s of Compatibility, Communication, and Chemistry… BEFORE you have sex:


Communication:  Developing a friendship and having the ability to openly share your thoughts and feelings is an integral part of a healthy sexual relationship.  Do you know your new potential lover’s life goals? Are they seeing anyone else currently?  Are they available to see you exclusively if they choose to do so? Or are they even interested in monogamy? If you don’t feel comfortable enough to ask these basic questions, it’s too soon.

Chemistry:  Chemistry is an unexplainable, animalistic attraction to another person.  You may share interests and be able to really talk with a person, but if they don’t inspire you to want to take off your clothes-leave them alone.  Unlike a Hollywood star, chemistry can’t be manufactured.

Compatibility:  In order to build a healthy relationship you need to be compatible.  It doesn’t matter how much they turn you on:  you’ll never feel safe enough with them to let down your guard and let

them in if your life goals, values and interests aren’t in sync.  That doesn’t necessarily mean they need to be your mirror, but at the very least they must be complementary.

In my experience, a lot of sexual and relationship drama can be avoided if you make sure to have the three C’s firmly in place before sleeping with a new partner.  All this fact finding can be a sexual buzz kill, but a buzz kill upfront is easier to deal with than the emotional crash that follows a sexual tryst with unfulfilled emotional expectations.  It’s much easier to ask questions up front than having to extricate yourself from a painful and complicated sexual relationship after the fact.

Delayed sexual gratification may in some cases eliminate a potential new sex partner, but what you’ll gain is an increase in the probability of getting the love you really need.

EBONY Credit

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